The Miss Universe Pageant

Our arrogance is sickening. To think that each year we crown a female from our planet Miss Universe is a little disturbing. I mean who do we think we are? We don’t even know the physical limits of the universe and haven’t sent any human beings to any of the surrounding planets in our own solar system. Yet, year after year we declare that this one person will represent the universe. We should be ashamed. And don't even get me started on Mr. Universe.

It's a boy!

It seems my machismo knows no bounds. Yes, today we received confirmation following an ultrasound appointment that has verified that we are expecting another son. Even prior to his birth, my son boldly declared his masculinity. While some lesser fetuses might have evaded such a moment of vulnerable disclosure, my boy wasn’t the least bit bashful.

For those keeping track that gives me a three and one record, not too bad. Of course while no reasonable person would argue that impregnating one’s wife with a son represents the pinnacle of reproductive skill, we would be remiss to allow folks to consider this a negative critique of our female brethren. Even the most staunch chauvinist would agree that our world is a far better place with women in it. No, I for one take great pride in the fact that my little girl will now have three brothers to threaten, intimidate, and protect her from any guy foolish enough to consider speaking to her.

Just wanted to share my good news…

Thoughts from the couch...

I’m just laying on the couch today and relaxing. Bridget is resting in our room and the kids are all asleep. I built a fire in the wood stove and am listening to some old records. Currently playing…a Frank Sinatra album. My friend Sarah gave me a huge pile of old records that she was getting rid of (Thanks Sarah) and I’m enjoying going through these vintage albums. Don’t get me wrong, I like my ipod, and love the idea of having music in your pocket, but I still appreciate listening to these classics on the record player. Maybe its just nostalgia, but who cares.

Anyway, here I sit. The atmosphere is very comforting and I can't help but appreciate the smell of the Christmas tree in the room. We have a live tree. Actually, I guess its pretty dead now, but either way, it’s not a fake tree. I could probably write an entire blog about the communists that have the audacity to place these counterfeit trees in their homes. But I digress. Good music, crackling fire, sleeping children. It’s a good day. Only two things are missing. The first is a cup coffee and the second, well; suffice it to say that it’s something that both my employer and the pezzonovante of the church (Godfather reference) forbid. So for now…I’ll just see about that cup of coffee.

The Dark Side of Black Friday

In my last post I commented on my most recent Black Friday experience and why I like this retail bonaza. This post, as promised, will discuss a few things that I don’t like about Black Friday.

I guess it comes down to just a few basic things.

More. It’s not just an issue with Black Friday, but year round, and that is the feeling that we need more stuff. What’s worse is that we are constantly being told that we deserve more stuff. “You deserve a ______________.” Plasma screen TV, new iphone, car, wardrobe, etc. But when you witness the sheer volume of stuff that’s being purchased on this one day is disturbing and causes one to consider how gluttonous our society really is.

Goodwill toward Men. While it can be entertaining to watch people and laugh at the childish manner in which people behave on Black Friday, there really isn’t anything funny about people treating other people as badly as they do. Watch the news and you’ll hear about someone that was trampled by a crowd or a fight that broke out on Black Friday. Sad really.

The Newspaper. I don’t like it that the Thanksgiving Day newspaper is stuffed full of the retail store “door buster” advertisements. A few years back, we spent Thanksgiving with my wife’s side of the family. When we got to her grandmother’s house, many of them were just sitting around the table looking through the ads and planning where they would go the following day. I couldn’t believe it, these are people that don’t visit or see each other very often and rather than enjoy that time together, they were planning and deciding what stuff they were going to buy the next morning. Fortunately, that hasn’t been the case in recent years, but still, I think that such an occurrence may be more common than we think.

So, those are the big three, but they all really just boil down to old fashion selfishness. My good friend Travis Keller says that Black Friday is the day that makes baby Jesus cry.
The truth is our selfishness, is a problem year round. Perhaps Black Friday isn’t the day we make baby Jesus cry, maybe it’s just the day when our selfishness is so in our face that we finally notice He’s there in the first place. And yes, He’s probably crying.

Why I Like "Black Friday"

I know that many folks have very strong and often negative feelings regarding the retail phenomenon known as “Black Friday”. If you are not familiar, this is the day after Thanksgiving, when many retail stores open early and entice shoppers with significant discounts and free giveaways. Now some feel that this particular event represents all that is wrong with our consumer driven society. While I agree that one can certainly find fault with our unceasing desire to horde more and more material things, whilst turning a blind eye to the suffering and need of our fellow man, my contention would be that this is a problem not just on Black Friday, but the other 364 days of the year as well. So to make the argument that going out the day after Thanksgiving to buy a laptop computer is bad, but going to the same store any other day of the year is ok, just doesn’t make that much sense. Nevertheless, I’m sure that wiser and more interested folks will work out the details of when and where it is permissible to exchange money for goods and services, without the condemnation of being the face of American greed.

But this post is about why I like “Black Friday”. So as one who experienced this annual occurrence, just last week, I will share a few reasons why I appreciate this retail anomaly.

Top Five Reasons Why I Like Black Friday:

5. A 3-way-tie. The fifth place spot is a hodgepodge of three things that I couldn’t cut out. They are being awake at 3am, getting 50 to 70 percent off, and hanging out with a pair of identical twin ladies in their mid-40’s that were proudly wearing reindeer antlers on their head that light up and play music. Basically, I love being up when so many others are sleeping, its just like you got the whole place to yourself. As for the savings, paying a lot less for something I’d be buying anyway always helps. The ladies with the affinity for their holiday head gear, well…I guess you hand to be there.

4. Watching the sheer carnage as people try to charge the doors, in front of those persons who had been waiting for hours in line. That’s just darn good entertainment. Oh the humanity!

3. Waiting in line and making new friends. When waiting in line for so long with other people you just end up chatting and sharing stories. One of the ladies in front of me, while waiting in line at Target, made a Starbucks run at 5am and surprised me with a cup of delicious hot chocolate. I was very appreciative and was able to return the favor around 5:30am, when they held my place in line and I ran to a nearby McDonalds to use the restroom. I returned with a bag of hash browns and we all enjoyed an early breakfast snack.

2. Hearing people waiting outside a Target store at 4:30am, in late November calling other shoppers crazy. (They were talking about folks that had been camping outside of a Best Buy since midnight.)

1. People Watching. The thing is if you are a student of human nature and/or enjoy sociology at any level, then you would find this entire experience to be well worth it. For me, I’d probably go even if I didn’t buy a single thing. It’s that much fun.

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Coming up in the next post: A few things I don't like about Black Friday...

I just thought this was funny...

Maybe a little crude...but funny.

Will the "real" archbishop please stand up?

My good friend Travis Keller recently posted a picture of the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Douglas Williams on his blog. After seeing the Archbishop’s photo on Mr. Keller’s blog I couldn’t help but notice that Archbishop Williams has a striking resemblance to Cigar Aficionado editor Marvin R. Shanken.

The picture of Mr. Shanken is an older one, which could account for a little more hair and the 80's style glasses. But, I think the evidence is pretty overwhelming. And now you know the truth: That the Archbishop of Canterbury is secretly the editor and publisher of both Cigar Aficionado and Wine Spectator Magazine.

Bottom line: How cool is this guy? I may convert.